Violet Du Feng's documentary, "The Dating Game," showcases the profound impact of China's gender imbalance, a legacy of the former one-child policy and a traditional preference for sons. The film focuses on three working-class men—Li, 24, Wu, 27, and Zhou, 36—as they attend an intensive dating camp led by Hao, a Chongqing-based dating coach who has mentored over 3,000 clients. These men face immense societal pressure to marry, yet are disadvantaged by the staggering statistic of 30 million more men than women in China, making it particularly difficult for those from lower socioeconomic backgrounds to find partners.
The documentary highlights the financial strain on these men, with Zhou expressing despair over the cost of dates, matchmakers, and new clothes. He notes that a single date can cost around $300, while his monthly income is only about $600. This disparity underscores the economic barriers to marriage, as owning an apartment is often a prerequisite for engagement. The film suggests that for these "surplus men," the inability to marry is often viewed as a sign of economic and social failure, with societal expectations dictating that men be primary breadwinners.
Hao's coaching methods, while sometimes questionable (including "push and pull" techniques), are presented as a band-aid solution to a deeper societal issue. He gives the men makeovers and advises them on attracting women online and in person, despite acknowledging that his workshops offer only a superficial fix to a systemic problem. The documentary also touches on related cultural phenomena, such as over 10 million Chinese women playing online dating games featuring virtual boyfriends, a trend attributed by some to men not being emotionally stable. Du Feng emphasizes the film's universal message about loneliness and the struggle for genuine connection in a digital age, even though it explores China's unique gender crisis.
